The Choice is Yours

Today I have felt to write about choices, in particular choices that involve us choosing either the carnal natures of what our bodies want, or the choice to do what that little conscience/light of Christ says.  There are times when it's easier to choose what you know in your heart or mind to be the right choice, and then there are times when you feel weak and you struggle to make the choice that you know is the right one.  Then there are times when it's a downright choice you simply don't want to make to do good.  I have gone through all three of these choices many times.  I'm pretty sure you have too.  

When Good is Easy-If you look at your life and notice what you were doing daily when it was easy to choose to do good, what were you doing?  Were you praying often?  Were you studying the scriptures?  Were you attending church?  Was your heart turned to God in gratitude and /or rejoicing?  What type of prayers did you pray during that time?  Where was your focus?  Whatever you were doing when it was easy to choose, do an experiment, choose to do those habits again for two weeks, and then notice if the choices become easier.  

When Good is Hard-Look at a choice you made where it was hard to choose the good.  You may not have chosen the good choice.  Or you may have.  Look at the habits you were taking on at that time.  And if you can't think of a time when this happened where it was hard, look at what you are doing now in your life.  Where is your focus?  Do you praise the Lord?  Do you study, or pray?  Do you lean to him when you have a difficult decision to make?  What is it that you are making priority in your life?  Is it TV, entertainment, social media, or maybe good things, yard work, Hobbies, taking care of kids and or family members, learning how to do self-care or so much more.  This world is so full of things that take up our time.  When we get up in the morning, do we say a prayer and ask him to help us choose the right things?  do we ask for that strength?  Or do we rush about and get everything and everyone to the places they need to be and then try to focus on our work all while ignoring the reason we have all of these things in our life?  Is our heart saying "I will go where you want me to go, do what you want me to do, say what you want me to say?" .  Often when a choice is hard for me to make between right and wrong, I realize that I have lost this focus.  That feeling within my heart where I WANT to obey is diminished somehow, usually because I let distractions get in the way.  This doesn't seem harmful from day to day to let distractions get in the way, but it can be the subtle destroyer.  Before you know it, those distractions have pushed out all of the good habits and are leading you away from God.  So when you find a choice hard to make, take a look at your life, and your habits and decisions on a daily basis.  Is that where you want to be?  If everything and everyone was taken away in your life, your friends, your family, your job and your money and hobbies, would you be able to say to God, "I praise you!!".  If not, do you want to re-align with him?  or would you continue to choose your way yourself?  

When Good is almost not an option-This one is by far the hardest time of life.  I have been here many times.  Usually something has happened in my life where I am angry at either the situation I have been put in, my family has been put through, or I'm upset with God for some reason or another.  In these times, when I am tempted to do something, I know my conscience is telling me not to, I easily brush that light of Christ away and choose the wrong on purpose.  Why do we do this?  Is it in defiance of God?  Is it to punish him?  Is it to make our wants and wishes known?  Is choosing the wrong accomplishing those goals?  Sometimes these moments of choosing the wrong on purpose can be short or other times can last years and years.  Maybe even a lifetime.  So what pulls you back?  I ask this as a light suggestion to your soul, if you are in this headspace currently, have you ever had someone when you were angry or sad or hurt do something that gave you light inside and helped you feel just the slightest bit better?  If so what was it?  Could you do that for someone else?  If you could do that, who would you do that for?  Think of that person who came to your mind and then ask yourself, Can I be mad at God or at the situation and still serve the person who just came to your mind in that way?  If you can, I urge you to do it.  There was a time when my family was on the verge of bankruptcy.  We had two little kids at the time, living in a home that was run down, had damage from a fire that wasn't our fault, but still resulted in a very difficult situation for us, my husband was struggling to earn a living and we couldn't afford daycare so I could go back to work.  I was babysitting to earn money where I could and trying to make our all meals with only $25-30 a week for food.  Which mostly went to formula and diapers.  We literally had nothing it felt like.  Christmas was coming up soon and I felt so hopeless and ready to give up.  I threw my hands up in the air one morning and told the kids to get in the car.  My daughter did and I put my baby into the car and we drove to McDonalds.  As we sat in the drive thru I knew I was spending money I didn't have on food that I just didn't want to cook, I knew I shouldn't have gone there but I was so absolutely frustrated with life, our situation, and yes with God.  I ordered our food and then told my daughter she would be late to school that day as I hung my head in shame.  Even though I was distraught and upset with God, I prayed a small prayer in my heart for some way to make it through this Christmas coming up.  I approached the window to pay and looked in my wallet.  I pulled out my last $5 bill and went to hand it to the lady, when she gave it back to me and said "no, the man two cars ahead paid for you already.  He said to tell you Merry Christmas!" I sat there looking at here with wide eyes and a shocked look on my face as I slowly put the $5 back in my wallet.  Tears started at the corners of my eyes as I realized that this was my answer from God.  THIS was my answer to my prayer even though I had been mad at God, he answered me.  As I looked at the white truck pull away that had so kindly paid for our food, I thanked God for his soul and his kindness and for showing me that there was good in this world.  

We never know what others are facing daily.  They could be paying with their last $5 bill simply because they don't know what else to do.  They could be searching for some sort of light in the world to let them know that hope is real and that life can continue and be good.  Not all bad.  They may just be needing exactly what you have for them, a smile, a hug, or maybe just being noticed.   So, what can you do today?  Why would serving someone else make it easier for you to choose the good?  I think if you search deep in your mind and heart, you know the answer to this question.  

If we can't choose to do good for us or for God, can we choose to do good for someone else?  and if you can choose to help one person, can you choose to help two?  or three?  One by one, can we reach those who need help that haven't been seen?  or maybe they have been seen, but they need YOU to see them.  Pick one person whom you thought of while reading this, and do that one thing you thought of doing.  Just one.  See how it makes you feel.  Then choose one more.  Keep going one by one and change the world one heart, one soul at a time.  You have the power to do this.  After a few weeks, take a look back and see where your focus has shifted and what changes you've noticed in yourself.  Do you like the changes?  It's all within your grasp and power, you are, after all, the master of your own life.  What you choose to do with your life is yours, but oh, how things can change if you choose.  

Three Voices 

So, how do we recognize how God speaks to us?  There are so many thoughts running through our minds, how can we tell which ones are ours and which ones are God's?  Years ago, I was researching this exact thing.  With so many thoughts and things happening, I wanted to clarify things further.  I was led to a book, and then I delved deeper into the author's work, recognizing truth in his words and discovering that he had written other books.  Then one day, I read a chapter that presented a challenge.  Journey to the Veil by John Pontius, chapter 10.  In this, he explained the three voices we all have in our minds.  

The Voice of our Mind- The first and loudest voice we hear is the voice of our minds.  We ask questions, debate, and doubt.  We analyze the events of our lives and make decisions.  The voice is almost always unsure.  It wonders about everything and questions, "Why did that happen?" "What should I do now?" "What does that mean?".  The way to recognize this voice is that it almost always references me, and I.  I'm hungry.  My foot hurts.  I need to get up and get going.  

The Holy Spirit-The next voice we hear is the Holy Spirit.  Most simply, this can also be called our conscience.  This is indeed revelation.  It is the voice of Christ.  Making this realization is the most important thing a soul can do.  Just like we all learn our A, B, and C's, the spirit has the ability to teach from A-Z, but did you know that there is more?  It doesn't just end at Z.  However, until you or I learn how to hear this voice in a manner that we recognize as the voice of Christ, we will not be able to continue our lessons in learning.  This voice always leads us to do something good and to believe in Christ.  It rarely asks questions and distills a thought or pure concept into our mind or heart.  "Don't do that"  "Slow down," "Pick it up" "Go that way," "Change lanes" "Give that woman some flowers" "Notice that person on the side of the road" "Say your sorry," "Do the dishes".  These are all examples of the voice of the Holy Spirit.  This Holy Spirit has a purpose of constantly informing us of what is right and what is wrong.  When we go to make a choice, the Holy Spirit nudges us to choose the good.  Everything that invites you to do good is inspired of God.  Including ideas that pop into your head.  Choosing to be obedient to all good promptings/ideas will increase your spiritual strength and will set you on a path of true Joy.  Just as we continually hear the voice of temptation, we also continually hear the voice of Christ, unless we shut if off through disobedience.  Promptings are just thoughts that come into the heart and mind, usually when you least expect it.  To some they come as visual images, pictures or sudden insight.  When these promptings lead us to do something good we can tell they come from Christ.  Even if that thought is as annoying as a thought to weed the garden, drive the speed limit, or clean your room.  ALL good things are inspired of God.  

The Voice of Evil-The final voice we hear is often (unfortunately) the voice of evil.  We are all familiar with temptations that appeal to our flesh, our pride, or our vanity.  This voice lies to us, and works to break us down, freeze us with anxiety or worry, and fight against anything good that God wants for us.  These beings seem to be hateful and envious.  What seems like a scuffle to us or a fight to lift our self-esteem or to be confident, is an all-out war to those beings who whisper lies, and intend to get us to obey them, which separates us from the Holy Spirit.  It usually starts with a prompting from the Holy Spirit which is then countered by the voice of Evil.  For example.  You may have a thought "Read the scriptures" and almost immediately comes a thought, "But your to tired" or "you have so much other things you need to get done, you should probably do the dishes first".  Maybe there is a thought "Get up and make your family breakfast" which is also immediately countered with "but it's your only Saturday you get to sleep in, isn't sleep more important?"  "Besides, they can make themselves breakfast".  The voice of Evil counters with things that are tailor-made for you and your weaknesses.  Your mind then says, "Oh my goodness, what should I do?".  The question isn't what should you do.  You already know what you SHOULD do, but the question is, will you obey the good voice or the voice telling you not to do those things?  

Recognizing that there are indeed three voices you hear at all times is the first step.  Then comes the challenge.  

In the book Journey to the Veil, Pontius suggests recording in a small notebook every thought you have for a short time.  Not forever, but as an exercise to try and gain clarity about which voice you are hearing.  I took this challenge.  It was indeed a very significant challenge.  Writing down every thought takes time and intentional effort.  However, after only a few days, I was able to accomplish this task and within a week felt as though I had conquered something not many have done.  You can do it too!!!  Take a notebook (preferably a small one), write down each thought you have, with a blank space after each thought.  At the end of the day, go back and record if you harkened to that which was good or if you followed that which was Evil.  After the first day, I simply wanted to recognize which was which, so by each entry I put a star for the ones I felt were from Christ, a smiley face next to the ones I thought were my own thoughts, and then I put a frowning face next to the voice of evil.  If you have time, record the result of what happened when you listened to the good thoughts.  Who's lives were changed?  Were you happy because you chose the good?  When you failed to obey the good thought/voice, what were the consequences?  What you will find is that you receive dozens of revelations daily.   You will also see that in every decision you made, right or wrong, you will see you knew what you should have done.   You will notice that the opposition is also very informed.  It is specific and intelligent.  It's giving you hundreds of reasons to disobey and satisfy some carnal desire or lust.  You will know once you complete this challenge, without a doubt, the war that is being waged for your soul.  

Every person who tries this is dismayed at how often Evil opposes anything good and light.  When you discover the truth and can discern between the three voices in your mind, your spiritual growth will increase, and you will have found a way to take control of the war that continues to rage.  You will be able to stand up to that voice of Evil more and say no.  You will have the knowledge to continue your learning and growth, and it will unlock some of the many mysteries of the spiritual realm for you.  

When I started my notebook, the first thought I had was "I need chocolate".  The next thought was "I need to go to the restroom."  and I got up to go to the restroom.  As I was in the restroom, I passed by the mirror, and glanced at myself in the mirror.  The very smallest of thought in an almost inaudible whisper came "You are a daughter of God" and then the loud thoughts immediately crowded in "Look at how fat you are, no one likes a fat person."  "Did you even do your hair today?"  "why would you wear brown, it makes everything look blah and boring."  And those thoughts kept coming until I left the mirror and left the bathroom.  I immediately went back to my notebook and wrote them down.  At the end of the day I looked at all of the thoughts.  Just within the first 20 minutes of my day, I had my own thought of "I need chocolate, and I need to go to the restroom.  We all know the good thought that came after that in the mirror, but it was so faint I almost didn't hear it.  The attacks came and as I recorded what happened and how they made me feel I realized that it was feeding my weaknesses into stopping me from shining my light.  If I choose to believe those things that are lies about myself, It could stop me from saying hi to someone who needs it, or from believing that I am indeed that child of God and that he cares about me.  It could mean that my smile isn't there, and instead, a cloud of doubt and worry constantly hangs over me, hiding me from others and making me shy away from interaction.  It could also stop me from knowing my true worth in the sight of God (which truly is the most important), and it could bring about a spiral of depression.  Write down what happens for you, and what each choice to believe brings.  Notice and observe.  You are the scientist looking for a theory to prove or dis prove.  What happens when you choose to ignore those damaging voices?  What happens when you do the good things instead?  And notice the tone and the volume that each voice has.  It's hard to record that part, but what you will find is that as you listen to the good, you are not only able to hear it more clearly and understand the good prompting, but rather you also hear it in different tones and just as loud or louder than the voice of Evil.    

 

Stop, Do, and Slow Down

Ever since I was a child, really as far back as I can remember, at the age of 2 years old, I have had experiences where the Holy Spirit has been working to teach me to listen to God.  Not just to listen, but to also obey.  Experience after experience has led me step by step to understand how to hear and then to make a choice to listen and obey or not.  This is my journey of Faith!  Some of these experiences have called in angels to save me in ways I didn't think possible.  I would like to tell you of a few of these times.  

When I was a teenager, our young men's and young women group went for a trip up the canyon.  Our leaders told us to explore and have fun and to meet them back at the car at a certain time.  We were very surprised to be let loose on our own and with excitement ran to explore freely.  I went with a group of young women who were my friends and we began hiking.  when we got to the top of a mountain, one of the girls said "lets ski down these rocks on our butts" and a lot of the other girls agreed it would be fun.  A feeling came to not follow them, but I dismissed it and shook my head thinking it was just me.  One by one, they all sat down and started to pretend to ski on their butt down the rocks on the hill.  I sat down and just before I pushed off heard a strong thought in my head "don't follow them, stay there" I watched as they were laughing and having fun and pushed off from the top and began to ski on my butt.  We went down a little ways and one of the girls told everyone we had better stop as we were coming up to the edge soon.  All of them stopped and were able to stand up.  When I tried to stop the rocks seemed like they were rolling me along so quickly I couldn't get my footing to stop, and I somehow picked up speed.  I turned around on my stomach and began looking for anything I could grab hold of as I saw the edge of the cliff approaching.  my nails scraped the rocks as I searched for any pocket of earth to hold onto long enough to slow me down or stop me but nothing was working.  I looked up at my young women friends and their faces were now white with fear as they all began screaming for me to stop and put my feet down.  I tried but to no avail my feet just slid on the rocks and caused me to flop around in a desperate manner.  I looked again at the edge of the cliff and knew within seconds I would be falling to my death as it had to be a good 100 ft drop.  I prayed "Father I am so sorry I didn't listen, please save me" and just then I heard "put your left foot more to the left" so I moved my left food to the left and a pebble the size of the end of my thumb seemed to catch my left foot and stop me just as I reached the edge of the cliff.  I was stunned and I knew that it wasn't the pebble that caught me.  There was no way physics would have allowed for that.  My young women friends stood in shock and amazement that they had not just witnessed my death as they tried to figure out a way to get me off the cliff.  They determined it would not be safe for one of them to go down and pull me up by themselves, so instead they formed a chain arm in arm and hand in hand until one of them could reach me and pull me up.  Once I was up, they began to address my wounds.  Bloody hands from scraping the mountain and the rocks, bloody knees, ripped pants in the butt area and some sore legs and feet were all that I walked away or rather was carried away with that day.  This was only one of my spiritual life lessons God began to teach me to trust him.  

Often, we think that the thoughts in our heads and hearts are only ours.  But we are given a conscience.  This conscience isn't just something that's there; it's a guide.  This is what the scriptures refer to as the light of Christ.  We are born with it.  If we listen to and obey the light of Christ, it brings more light into our souls.  If we choose to ignore it (as I did in the example of skiing on the mountain) then we often inflict pain on our bodies, trauma on our hearts, and we start the lesson over, as time and time again we begin to learn how to trust God and have faith in how we hear him.  

Fast forward to an adult with a young child at home, working the graveyard shift at a hotel, I was just finishing up my night audit reports when I had the thought "go lock the door".  I looked at the clock and realized that it was 10:50 pm.  The hotel policy was that we could lock the door at 11 pm.  I shrugged and said "yep it's almost time to lock the door" and then went back to what I was working on for my night audit reports.  The feeling of urgency came again with the thought this time "GO lock the door now".  Just then the phone rang, at the same time a customer had just exited the elevator and I could see they were headed for the front desk where I was standing.  I said back to my thought "I will as soon as I help this customer"  She wanted some coffee packets so I gave her some and the phone rang one more time and I picked it up just as the person on the opposite end of the phone hung up.  The thought came again only this time sounded like it was a last warning "Go lock the door NOW!" I looked at the clock again and realized it was 11 pm now and went to get the keys to go and lock the door.  Just then the customer that had gotten the coffee packets approached the front desk again, and I shrugged off the warning and went to help her instead.  The thought of telling her to wait for just a minute crossed my mind but I dismissed it also.  I finished helping her and she left and went up the elevator.  Just as I grabbed the keys to lock the front door, I saw a man in black with a black ski mask come in the front door and it felt like my heart dropped to the floor with a huge thud.  I knew it was to late.  I glanced up at the clock and it was 11:05 pm.  He sauntered up to the front desk and demmanded I give him all the money.  I stood there a bit stunned with surprise that someone would rob a hotel.  I had worked at Credit Unions where we were trained on how to handle things if we were robbed.  The hotel training was more like "if you get robbed, just give them what they want and let them leave."  There was no panic button to push, no exploding colors to put in with the money, or even trackers to put in the bag.  Nothing.  It was a hotel.  Hotels don't have a lot of cash, people pay with cards.  All of these thoughts were running through my brain and I said "excuse me, what!?" and he raised his voice like I hadn't heard him "Give me all your money" and held what looked like his finger pointed like a gun inside his pocket of his sweatshirt/hoodie.  I started to laugh.  "Are you serious?" I said, then he got angry at my response and pulled out his very real gun and pointed at my head.  I held my hands up to show I was taking him serious now, and then began to pull out all the money that was in the cash register.  There was only $300 in there and I knew it because no one could pay in cash except for treats and at the beginning of my shift I had counted it.  I filled the bag with the $300 and then handed it to the man dressed in black.  He yelled "WHERE IS THE REST?" I shook my head in response and let him know that was it.  He didn't believe me.  "Where is the vault or the safe?" I looked to my right and nodded my head "Its in there, but I don't have access to get into it.  My manager does, would you like me to call him?"  He shook his gun at me as he sarcasticly said "No I don't want you to call him.  Are you sure there isn't any other money?" I looked at the guy with half rolled eyes and said "look, this is a hotel, we don't deal in cash, only cards." and as I finished my sentence I glanced over at my left to the place where we kept the back cash of $300 in a locked drawer for the next shift.  I didn't mention that we had it.  Just decided to pretend we didn't have any other cash.  The guy looked dumbfounded and angry.  Then as he waved his gun in my direction he demmanded "Go lay down in the back" then I looked at him with a nervous feeling and was debating on if I should fight him or do as he says.  The smallest of whispers in my head told me to do as he said for now.  I turned to walk towards the back hoping that he wasn't planning on rape or something worse.  I went to the back and he gestured for me to lay down.  I did as he asked and when I did he left.  I waited for a minute until I was sure he was gone and then got up and called the police.  

Can you imagine the patience God has with us!?  He allows us to experience these types of things sometimes as a consequence for not heeding his directions.  Had I listened in both experiences I would have saved myself from a lot of heartache and PTSD that lasted years and still affects me to some degree.  However, God also used this type of experience to teach me that it would be best to do it the first time, no matter what.  When he says stop, Stop!  When he says lock the door, Lock The Door!  Or face the consequences.  

Fast forward another 4-5 years, and I was driving down the freeway wishing I was home already.  My speed had increased to 5 over the speed limit which I felt was acceptable, especially since I wanted to go 10 miles per hour over the speed limit.  As I was driving, I had the thought "slow down," and while I didn't want to, I did as I was asked.  A few feet later, the thought came, "slow down more," and I slowed down more, thinking that I would never make it home.  Just as I slowed down more a red car came racing around me and then pulled in front and kept driving fast.  Just then, it felt like everything from here on out was in slow motion.  I watched as the red car was just driving down the freeway, and from the right a truck was headed towards the intersection we were approaching.  Our light was green, so I knew the trucks light was red, especially as all the other cars were stopping.  However, the truck didn't stop.  He ran through the red light and slammed so hard into the red car that it sent the red car flying in circles and then wrapped itself around a pole to the side of the intersection.  My heart sank again as I searched for a place to pull over and check if the drivers were okay.  After the police and ambulance arrived, they extracted the driver from the red car and rushed them to the hospital. I then gave my statement and left to go home.  In shock, I prayed the whole way home for the drivers of that truck and the red car.  I also gave deep gratitude to God for telling me to slow down.  

 Just as a child learns to fall well and then how not to fall at all, we can also learn to listen to those thoughts that may not make logical sense or inconvenience us, but tell us to Stop, Do, and Slow Down.  It makes sense that a loving God would warn us, invite us, and guide us to safety.  As we choose to listen to that light of Christ within us, following the thoughts that come or the warnings becomes easier and easier the first time we hear it or think it.  And THAT is how we learn to hear.  Start now, start today, and even if listening to those thoughts doesn't produce an outcome that saves your life, it will become easier to listen, and when it does indeed come to a life-or-death situation, you will hear clearly!